James O'Brien's Mystery Hour

00:02 This is a Global Player original podcast. 00:08 This is LBC. From Global. Leading Britain's conversation. Mystery Hour with James O'Brien. 00:17 Was I not meant to push that button? Did I push the wrong button? Okay. Anyway, it's four minutes after 12. It's Thursday. It's James O'Brien. Me. It's Mystery Hour. Your weekly opportunity to achieve the sort of satisfaction not ordinarily available anywhere else on your radio if you're not familiar with this feature then i think you're in for a surprise certainly whether it's a positive surprise or a negative surprise is probably debatable although it remains um an incredibly popular part of the program speaking of popularity a new poll about the popularity or otherwise of donald trump in this country in this septad aisle has just dropped and even I'm surprised by the results. 00:59 I may remember to share those with you, I may not, because we have more important things to do. 01:03 We have to collate some questions, some riddles, some mysteries, some conundrums. 01:09 to which other people will then ring in and provide the answers, because that is how Mystery Hour works. 01:14 You ring in with a question, a who, a why, why do we do this, who, why, what, where, when, whither, wherefore, whatever it may be. And the only real rule for inclusion is that you're not mind-numbingly dull. The question isn't one that we've answered in the last ten minutes, and it's probably best if it's not really, really, really motoring-related. Although, to be honest with you, the guardrails on that one have become rather rusty of late. 01:39 And then, having asked your question, to which it is, you know, it's a given that there must be an answer to it. 01:47 there must be an answer to this question you have you can't ask a question that is you know famously unanswerable but you just don't know what the answer is yourself and then then someone else rings in with the answer and there's only one rule on that side of the of the net and that rule is you obviously can't look anything up because otherwise i could just sit here googling everything and it would be a very strange way for us to spend an hour together so the answer that you provide has to be as a consequence of personal knowledge Now, it can be something that you've read previously or even something that you've looked up previously. I think I've done a couple over the years because one of my daughters had asked me a question and I'd looked it up a couple of years ago and then you rang in with the same question and I was therefore able to answer it. 02:27 But you're not allowed to look it up as a consequence of having heard the question, as in like now, today. 02:34 That's pretty much it, the number you need. And remember, you... 02:38 have your best chance of getting through. If you use judicious use of redial, you will get through at the moment, 0345 6060973. 02:48 And if you provide my favorite contribution of the week, either question, answer, or Stuart's inquiry, because if you're unhappy with the way that things have unfolded, you're more than welcome to challenge the uh the the result uh you will win a mystery hour game um and there are two types of mystery hour game in fact i'm going to do something i don't think i've ever done before on the program before and i'm going to wish happy birthday to a ferret at some point in the next half an hour uh more on that later but the mystery hour game comes either in original format board game or in the travel format, which is in a tin. 03:21 And you can find out more about that, and indeed buy your own if you're unlucky enough not to win one today, at mysteryhour.co.uk. The full terms and conditions for the competition are... 03:31 at lbc.co.uk and that I think concludes the housework if you've never heard it before and you'd like to get involved but you're a little bit shy just wait until you've heard a couple of questions or a couple of answers and then you'll get an idea of roughly where the parameters are but to be honest with you almost anything goes Almost anything goes. Let's start on Dartmoor. Steve is there. Steve, question or answer? 03:57 It's a question, James. It's Dartmoor, not Dartmoor. Do you know, because it says on my screen, Dartmoor, Scotland. 04:05 And I'm not saying that we need to introduce more discipline into the production office as a consequence of the conversation we were having in the last hour, but I think I might get Jess in to do a special sort of thing. So it's Dartmoor. 04:16 Dartmoor, yeah. 04:17 Dartmoor being at pretty much the opposite end of the United Kingdom from where you are. 04:22 Absolutely. 04:22 Question or answer, Steve? 04:24 It's a question. And I've been digging out all my shirts recently because I've recently qualified as a celebrant. 04:32 Oh, lovely. Congratulations. 04:34 Thank you very much. 04:36 One of my old producers is a celebrant, you know. really that's a career i'm glad you responded like that because i think that's quite an interesting career path to have gone from being the senior producer of the james o'brien program to being a humanist celebrant well not even a humanist she does all sorts yeah i'm not a humanist i don't think she is either i don't know why i said that she does she does the whole shebang and she's brilliant at it got loads and loads of plaudits and praise anyway carry on excellent so i did the tour of crematorium the other day absolutely fascinating 05:04 behind the scenes and the people who work in it love the job. Anyway, that's not the question. So I was digging out all my shirts and I'm trying them on. Some of them don't fit because obviously I've put on a bit of weight over the years. 05:18 And what I noticed was when I was buttoning up the shirts, and you might know this because of your experience in retail. 05:24 Thank you. 05:25 They all come down vertically, except the bottom one, which is horizontal. And why is that? 05:32 I've got a crack team of producers on the show today, but they're all relatively new. Apart from Eleanor, who's far too busy to get involved in the to-ing and fro-ing of Mystery Hour questions and answers. She's working on strategy today, Steve. She's working on strategy. Yeah, long-term projects, long-term projects. she's currently looking for a picture of a ferret actually which may become clearer a little later in the program i think we've done this one relatively recently and you're absolutely right i do draw upon my years in menswear to tell you think about when you tuck a shirt in and the stress that is placed on the buttonhole okay and the only buttonhole upon which stress is placed is the bottom buttonhole So if it were vertical, then it would be more likely to split because you're pushing it down all the time. 06:18 In fact, it wouldn't really be the buttonhole that split. It would be the button that popped off probably as a consequence of the thread on the button being easier to break than the thread on the buttonhole. Whereas all the other buttons, and you mentioned this yourself unintentionally by alluding very discreetly to your enhanced girth, All of the other buttons are under horizontal pressure. 06:43 Right, okay. Potentially. That makes sense. Qualifications? 06:48 Four years in menswear? 06:50 I thought so. Three, four, five, possibly. I'd still be there now if it wasn't for John Major. Steve, thank you very much. I will accept the round of applause. With apologies for repetition, but as I say, we've got a crack team of novices, or relative novices, on the programme today. And good luck with it. Have you done your first gig yet? Do we call them gigs? Do we call them gigs? 07:08 Well, I call them gigs, but I'm not sure the grieving families would call them gigs. 07:13 No, you're quite right. I was thinking more of a wedding. Are you only going to be doing the deaths? 07:17 No, I'm going to be doing both. Well, we can call a wedding a gig, I think, can't we? 07:20 When's your first one? Have you got anything in the diary yet or are you about to get out there? 07:23 No, I've got meetings with funeral directors so that we can get together and hopefully they'll take me on. 07:29 Good luck, Steve. 07:31 Thank you very much. 07:31 I'm sure you'll be brilliant at it. 11 minutes after 12 is the time. You've got a fantastic array of anecdotes that you can share from the pulpit or the lectern as a consequence of tuning into this programme all the time, including why is the button almost shut? Maybe don't open with that, especially at a funeral. Marco's in Fulham. Marco, question or answer? 07:48 Question, please. Carry on. 07:51 So, you know, in Pulum and in London in general, there are foxes in the streets more or less all the time at night. 07:57 And this summer with the drought, you had multiple months, I think more than one month, certainly in July, where it didn't rain. So what do they drink in those periods? Do they just all die or do they migrate? 08:10 Well, I mean, we've had a drought, but we haven't... I mean, we've had a hosepipe ban, Marco. We haven't exactly had a full-on drought, have we, as such? I mean, if you left a bowl of water... The rivers haven't run dry. The streams and what have you haven't run dry. So they might eat fruit, which can take... I don't know why I'm answering this. I've got absolutely no qualifications whatsoever. But I've got a lot of foxes and I've got a garden. 08:35 And I don't really like having the foxes in the garden because they upset my dog. But, you know, they would be drinking out of rivers. They'd be drinking out of dog bowls. They'd be drinking out of bird baths. And they would be eating fruit that's high in water levels. 08:52 Ponds, garden ponds. Next door's got a pond. The foxes are always having a slurp. 08:57 Right. But I mean, the rivers, I would take out the Thames because they would die from drinking the Thames. 09:02 Yeah, but not the river. They wouldn't necessarily. They're foxes. Have you seen what they eat? 09:08 So that is the answer. I mean, there might be a point at which it becomes problematic, but I don't think we've reached the point this summer. I just need to tell people... Excuse me a moment, Marco. The idea isn't that I answer all the questions. Sometimes I'm in a mood that makes me want to answer all the questions, which is probably the kind of mood that a teacher like Jess would be best qualified to politely talk me out of. And sometimes the questions are just ones that I know the answer to. So if it's going to be menswear... then I'm going to have a go. On this one, probably I shouldn't have waded in quite so confidently, but I happen to know that I'm right. 09:40 And therefore, I'm going to take another round of applause. Unless, Marco, you are unsatisfied with the answer. 09:45 Say again? 09:51 It's Thames water and fruits with high levels of water. 09:56 Not just Thames water. Near me, it would be the River Brent. I think garden ponds are going to be a much bigger part. They cover a lot of ground, Foxes. They'll know where the ponds are. 10:05 All right. I'll take that. 10:06 Thank you very much. Another round of applause for me, please. 10:10 It's coming up to quarter past 12. You are listening to James O'Brien on LBC. So two questions down, two answers in. It'd be nice if someone else got involved, otherwise we're running a very real risk of me awarding myself a Mystery Hour game. And nobody wants that. 10:26 03456060973. The shirt buttons and the foxes. I was in Worcestershire at the weekend. I'll be there again this weekend because I'm trying to see as much of mum as possible at the moment for reasons that I touched on yesterday. And loads of foxes. 10:42 Now, I didn't see that many foxes growing up in the countryside because they've all moved to the city. And I almost thought to myself, well, I did think to myself, but I wouldn't have remembered if it wasn't for Marco. I thought, is that a mischievous question? Are we now seeing foxes more in the countryside because of the hunting ban? 11:02 And I saw at least three on one journey from Redditch to Kiddermans to via Chattersley Corbett, if you're interested in such things. 11:10 And I know there used to be a hunt in Chattersley Corbett. I don't know whether they sort of chase after other things now. But I just found myself wondering, is there something going on there? Because I never ever grew up on farm. And we never saw foxes. We didn't have chickens. It was an arable farm that I grew up on, but we didn't farm it. 11:31 I don't know. I ever saw foxes when I was a kid on a farm in the middle of the countryside. I live in Brentford, see at least five a night. Dog goes mad. 12.15 is the time. Anyway, that's not a question from Mr. Aaron. I've already answered Marco's, so I need to hear yours on the usual number. 11:48 I think I've come up with a title for my autobiography. I'm going to call it Every Song I've Ever Loved Ends Up in an Advert. 11:55 That's a sign of age, isn't it? Every song I've ever loved ends up in an advert. Mystery Hour is upon us. Your weekly opportunity to achieve the sort of satisfaction not available anywhere else on your radio. I currently have no questions on the board because it turns out I'm unexpectedly in one of those moods where I've tried to answer everything myself. Let me see what's coming up next. I don't think I'm going to have any problems avoiding attempts to answer these ones. A couple of stewards' inquiries in already. Neil's cross. Apparently, when we got the question about the sharp button a few weeks ago, it was answered by a caller. 12:27 Therefore, my qualifications are not that I spent several years in menswear while trying and failing to get into journalism. 12:35 But my qualification should have been that a caller told me. And then when they did, it made such perfect and ineluctable sense that I presumed I had known all along. So my apologies for that and my thanks to Neil for steering me back on to the straight and narrow. You're absolutely right. Qualifications, someone else told me a few weeks ago. Still a little bit recent for a repetition, that one. So let's move quickly on. 12.18 is the time. Oh, and before we do that, I'm going to wish a ferret a happy birthday. So I saw this message from Mike. 13:07 It said, hi, James, it's my dearest Bridie's birthday today. I bought the lucky lady, your mystery hour travel game. It comes in a tin, you know. And then he did a joke. He said, the mystery hour for today is who is that young man staring out from the front of the tin? That's from Mike in Watford. And the joke is that it's me looking considerably younger than I do now. But I've had some new photos done recently. I can't remember whether I told you they should be appearing in the ether. They should be appearing in the wild sometime soon. So Mike sent that in, and I thought Bridie must be his wife. You would, wouldn't you, or his partner, Bridie? 13:40 And I wouldn't normally bother, but if you send me an attachment, I could actually click on it. 13:47 And I don't know why. I thought, well, there's an attachment there. I wonder why he sent an attachment. He just wants me to say happy birthday to his wife. So I clicked on it, and Bridie is actually a ferret. 13:57 So I am now, for the first time in the history of British radio, I am wishing happy birthday to a ferret in a Watford United beanie hat. 14:07 If you've just tuned in, this is normally a show where we discuss the most highfalutin current affairs issues of the moment. For example, the street of Hormuz and the imminent threat to humanity being posed by artificial intelligence. But today, I'm wishing happy birthday to a ferret. 14:23 in a Watford United hat. Happy birthday, Bridie. 14:28 Richard is in Pevensey in Sussex. Richard, question or answer? Good morning, James. Good morning, Richard. 14:34 When you use your debit card or credit card rather than your Oyster card when you go on the Underground or whatever, when the ticket inspector comes round, how do we know where you've come from or what you're doing or if you've paid if you're using a debit card? 14:48 I quite like that question. We should be able to work it out, shouldn't we? 14:53 Well, does the credit card store any information on it? 14:56 No, but the point where you clicked it is storing the information, and the ticket inspector has got access to that. 15:04 Ah. Do you think? Possibly. I mean, the other thing that gets me a bit these days is how the gate in the supermarket knows to open. Because in Lidl, I have to show it the barcode on my receipt, right? 15:18 Yeah. Yeah. 15:19 So that's easy. That's obvious. 15:20 Yeah. I think Morrisons use facial recognition. They do not. I think so. 15:25 Did you just make that because it was literally... Well, this is just uncanny because I was going to Morrisons next. 15:31 I know you go to Morrisons. That's why I said Morrisons. 15:34 No, I think it's facial recognition. I think they've got a notice up somewhere in the store that says that once the data is used, it's deleted. 15:41 Yeah, but so... Because you see your face at the till, don't you, when you're doing the self-service. 15:45 Yeah, I think that's part of it. 15:46 And so they... 15:48 And you get to the gate and it opens because it recognises you. You can see that you've paid. 15:54 Yeah. 15:54 Well, that's incredible. Well, it's not that then. I was thinking we might have the same answer for your question about the trains. It's not facial recognition because they're not checking your face, they're checking your ticket. 16:04 There must be a system. Do you ever watch those programmes? I think they're on Channel 5 when they bust Fair Dodgers. 16:10 Yes, the Air Fry Channel, we call it. 16:13 I like those shows. I really do. And I hate fair dodgers, actually. I don't know. I think I've developed a more passionate dislike of them since I've started watching these programs. And they know everything that's been done by a card. So when they present, when they're collaring a perp, They say, well, you've been using this card for the journey from, for example, Vauxhall to Waterloo for the last three and a half years. And we know that you get on at Scion. So they must know with a card. So that's what they're checking. They're checking the card against their record of cards and concluding that that card is on my record of cards. 16:46 That makes sense. 16:47 I'm not taking a round of applause, though, am I? Because I've said I'm not going to take any more. 16:51 Someone else says an open goal. Someone else can ring in and get that. But I'm going to check that. You see, Richard, that's why I asked what your qualifications are. 17:00 Because otherwise someone's going to ring in and just repeat what we've just worked out together. 17:06 Qualifications ticket inspector. 17:08 That's what we need. 17:09 We'll take no less, you and me. Totally good. Because we're strict like that. Thank you, Richard. Lovely stuff. 22 minutes. I've actually wondered that myself, Richard. I have wondered that myself. And I'm not convinced that Morrison's is doing facial recognition on the exit gate, is it? 17:24 I shall check later. 17:26 Two phone lines free, but you've got to be quick. Go 345-606-0973 is the number that you need. Dale is in the Kingdom of Fife. Dale, question or answer? That's our question, James. Carry on. 17:38 What defines a crisp? 17:41 Go on. Like, in terms of, you get a knick-knack, but that's a corn snack. 17:46 You get McCoy's, which is potato, but that's a crisp. 17:49 Yeah. 17:51 Is it just potato? Well, is a crisp just potato, then? Yeah, I'm wondering. Well, I mean, originally it was a potato crisp, wasn't it? 17:59 Yeah, but they're a packet of Doritos as a tortilla, but they're all sold in the crisp aisle. 18:04 They are sold. So what is the question? Technically, what is a crisp? Or what is the qualification to get into the crisp aisle in Lidl or Morrison's? 18:14 Technically, what is a crisp? That's the question. 18:17 Technically, what is it? Well, it's a potato crisp. 18:20 Am I just being silly here? 18:21 No. No, one of us. No, I don't think either of us are. What's the most crispy non... So you've gone for a knick-knack. What about a Pringle? Potato but not... That's not a crisp. Is it not? 18:34 No, that's just a big debate. This is why I'm... What's a Pringle then? 18:38 But it's not a crisp. Well, what is it? 18:40 I don't know. 18:41 Yeah, well, you do. It's a Pringle. You just say it's a Pringle, James. Yeah. Don't be stupid. So a deep fried potato crisp is a crisp. 18:51 Yeah. 18:51 So a baked Walker's crisp. A baked Walker's crisp is not a crisp. It's a maize-based snack or a wheat-based snack. So there must be a definition of a crisp. 19:03 I don't know what the answer is, so that's why I'm falling, and I'm very nervous. 19:08 Why are you being nervous? I'm going to put you at your ease now, Dale. People might want to press record on their tape recorders at the moment, because this is going to be a masterclass in putting people at their ease. What's your favourite crisp, Dale? 19:21 A pickled onion disco. They're quite hard to get hold of, aren't they, these days? 19:26 I buy a bag every day. 19:27 Do you really? You've got a special supplier. You've got a man. You've got a fellow. What about your pickled onion monster munch? Is that a close second? 19:35 No. I've probably got a prawn cocktail spiral. Wow. You are a man who enjoys his crisps. And you're also quite, you know, off-piste. You're not going down the well-trodden routes. What about a scampi fry? Is that a crisp? It's a scampi fry. This is the question. I love this. 19:53 Right, you're on. 19:54 Are you feeling marginally less nervous now as a result of our crisp-based banter? Are you still? All right, well, I'll let you go. Seriously, go and have a packet of salt and vinegar. What was it again? Discos? Onion discos. There it is. 20:08 Thank you, Dale. I love that question. I've got an idea for a podcast. i mentioned it to you last week i don't think anyone else has done it but i want to eat the new crisps and the new snacks so you know when you're in the shop and you see oh that's new and sometimes they've taken a well-established brand it began with the ice creams they started turning our chocolate bars into ice creams and it was one of the finest ideas ever had by humankind and now they're doing it with everything so you get marmite nuts now did you know that sounds like a medical condition but you can buy marmite nuts Or Marmite Cashier. 20:42 And I want to do a podcast where we try the new ones and just rate them together. And like four of us around the table. 20:50 Or you could do it on Zoom. You could join in. I don't know. I've just got this idea that people want that kind of content. Snack-based content. Dale would be good at it as long as we could deal with his nerves. 21:02 What is a crisp? 21:04 To crisp or not to crisp? That is the question. Barry's in Greenwich. Barry, question or answer? 21:09 A questionable observation. 21:12 That's not really allowed. Have you cleared it with the Gestapo? 21:19 They didn't like that. 21:25 I'm sitting in a car park. 21:27 Yeah. 21:29 And I'm waiting for a phone call to come in for a job. 21:31 Right. 21:31 And I'm just observing people who... The car park's half empty, but people still come in. 21:38 Yeah. 21:39 they decide to park next to someone or in between someone. 21:43 Yeah. 21:44 And I'm thinking there's about 50 spaces empty, but they still decide to park in between someone. 21:52 Yeah. 21:54 And I just think, why do you do that? 21:58 It's a strange one. Well, I don't drive a lot, although I think I might be starting again soon. All right. As a relatively inexperienced stroke nervous driver. 22:11 Right. 22:12 I think I find it easier to park near someone else because I know I'm going to get it right. I'm going to get it straight and level and stuff like that. 22:20 Yeah, but you could bash the doors and you say, oh, I'm sorry, didn't mean to do that. 22:26 And I think, well, why don't you go over there? There's about six bases empty. 22:31 Yeah. I mean, we are a herd animal. We're a herd animal, Barry, you and me. 22:38 We are birds of a feather that flock together. 22:44 So I think it's company and comfort. 22:48 Oh, right. Well, next time I'll do it, then I'll say, should we have a cup of tea? 22:51 Do you not think so? I mean, what else could it? Well, yeah, I'll get someone better qualified than me on, and I'm not allowed any more rounds of applause anyway, but why do we park in an empty car park? Why do we park next to a car, one of the few cars that's there? 23:04 Yeah. I mean, I get if you want to be nearer to the shops, which is probably 20 foot, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's a mind thing, isn't it? 23:15 But do you not use another car to line up your car? Do you not do that? 23:20 No, I use the white lines. 23:22 Oh, yeah. A bit harder to see than another car. Well, we'll find out. There might be some psychological studies that have been done into it, Barry. What's the job you're waiting for, if you don't mind me asking? You're not about to rob a bank or something, are you? Because if you are, don't say anything on the radio. 23:36 Ha, ha, ha. 23:37 Oh, I won't disclose that one. He is as well. 23:41 There you go. 29 minutes after 12 is the time you're listening to James O'Brien on LBC. That is not a motoring question. That is a psychology question. We don't do motoring questions. How many times do I have to tell you? And I am hearing... that James May may have a snack-based YouTube channel that I am currently unaware of. Does he do what I want to do, though? Does he do, like, ratings with other people? That would be annoying. Or I could just ask to be invited onto that. He rang in the other day. I'm sure he'd roll out the red carpet for some snack-based banter on his YouTube channel. 24:15 But does he? Does James May already have the thing that I want to have? We could call it beat the treat or how not to be hungry, as one of you suggested in a message that unfortunately I lost, so I can't give you credit for. I can, however, tell you that it is half past 12 and time for the headlines with Amelia Cox. 24:32 12.32 is the time. This from Aid. James, that snack tasting idea for a podcast is a good one. That's why there are already hundreds of people doing it on YouTube. Yeah, but they're not me, mate, are they? 24:43 There's loads of long form interview podcasts on YouTube, but there's only one full disclosure. There's only one full disclosure. 24:51 I still think it's a runner, but it's not really the kind of things that management are looking for from me at the moment. They're looking for slightly more cerebral or news-based ideas. It is 12.33. We are in the middle of mystery. We want to know how they know you've paid for your fare by checking your card or indeed your phone on the train. 25:15 What is the definition of a crisp? As in, you know, is a scampi fryer crisp? 25:21 and why do we park in car parks that are largely empty next to the car the few one of the few cars that are there tim is in lincoln tim question or answer a question please hurry on um what's making the noise in my stomach when it rumbles when it rumbles yeah why why is it doing it when it's only like do you ever how often do you listen to the program 25:48 Every day? 25:49 No, that sounded like you were fibbing a bit. You did quite a long... You're not going to go into any trouble. You don't have to listen to it. It's not compulsory. I mean, so how long have you been listening for, roughly? 26:01 I'd say a couple of years. Okay. Have you ever heard my tummy rumble? 26:06 No. 26:06 You don't listen on headphones, do you? 26:09 No. 26:10 No, because Keith's obsessed with it. My tummy rumbles terribly some mornings, like really terribly, especially if it's quite a serious conversation or quite a poignant moment. So we're both quiet, the caller and the presenter. We both go a bit quiet, and then my tummy just goes, because I don't like breakfast. I'm one of those people that doesn't really like to eat food in the mornings. I started eating overnight oats, and it didn't really make much difference. It's acid, isn't it? 26:37 It's all the stuff that breaks the food down. 26:40 And because there's no food in your tummy, it's more echoey. 26:44 Oh, I've done it again. 26:45 I've done it again. 26:46 I'm not supposed to be doing this. 26:49 But that is, I think, the answer. 26:52 Just an echo. Not an echo as such, but you know how anything that's empty is, yeah, it is a kind of echo. But if it's empty, it's going to be magnified. It's going to sound louder. I mean, think about a bag. Put something in an empty bag that's making a lot of noise and then put a lot of apples in that bag and the noise will be a lot quieter. 27:12 Okay. So it's always gurgling, your tummy. But when it's got no food there to actually digest, it's much louder than it is when it's full of food. 27:22 Okay, that makes sense. It does make sense, doesn't it? Yeah. Am I going to have to have another round of applause? Well, you decide. Shall I take another round of applause? 27:30 I don't know. Does it rule me out of the chance of getting a game? 27:33 No, not at all. Not at all. Take one. Go for it. Well, thank you very much, Tim. I'll have another. Thank you very much. There we go. Cross that one off as well. Right. No more answers from me. It's annoying for everybody involved except me. Nick's in Harrogate. Nick, question or answer? 27:48 Answer, please. Tickets and Oyster Cards. Carry on. 27:52 So very quickly, Oyster cards can be registered or unregistered. And they obviously store the information because that's their sole purpose for being on the card cards. Yes, yeah, the data is stored on the card, as in where you've checked in and all that kind of thing. Interestingly, though, your debit card, your credit cards, and your phone thingy, your contactless phone, they also store a tiny bit of data. It is not that when you tap in, that data is streamed up to TFL and then goes back to the inspector's device. 28:26 A tiny bit of information is held on your device or credit card to allow them to see only what time you checked in, where, and the fact that there's some sort of balance that can pay for the fare, which is why when you see people getting their ticket inspected, if they haven't tapped in and they try and fudge it, a big red light comes up that says this person didn't tap in. 28:51 So there's nothing in the inspector's hand that is... 29:00 There's nothing in the inspector's hand except the ability to check the card. There's no record there of any transactions or anything at all. 29:07 No, no, no, no. 29:08 That information goes back to TFL head office. And if they think that you regularly commit fraud because they're taking... That's the television programs I've been watching. Yes. And then the investigation team... They will take all of that and they'll look at your history. 29:24 Well, of course it's there because my phone tells me, doesn't it? 29:29 My phone tells me what I've used it for. It literally has it on one of the pop-ups. It will say, you know, you've used Transport for London this morning. 29:38 So if my phone can tell me that I've used it to go, then so can my card. And it doesn't stay there for very long, I presume, because there's a finite amount of information. 29:48 As you say, it's a tiny amount, but it's enough to say. And it will tell you where. 29:51 So you will be able to talk about, for example, if you suspected that I had bought a ticket. It's more of an online thing, isn't it? No, you've answered the question. I don't know why I'm picking holes in it. Qualifications? 30:09 train driver, railway worker, know about these things. Oh, well played. Up Harrogate Way. 30:15 No, yes, York, yeah. But that's where the museum is. 30:20 It is. The National Rail Museum. 30:21 Although I don't visit very often. 30:22 Well, you know it all already, Nick, don't you? Why would you be like me going to a radio museum or something? What am I going to learn, Nick? What am I going to learn? 30:32 When I know it all already, or at least I think I do. I love that answer. Have I got any other questions? I'm not a train spotter, are you? 30:41 Not massively, but if you want to ask me something, feel free. No, it wasn't that so much. I'm just sort of... I'm a fellow enthusiast. Have you heard the news from Beaudley? 30:52 Is this the commuter shuttle? 30:53 Yeah. 30:54 Yes. It's exciting, isn't it? 30:56 No? 30:58 I suppose so. Hello, hello, hello. What's the problem here, mate? 31:03 Well, interestingly, you can't buy the ticket from Beaudley to Birmingham. You have to buy one to Kidderminster. 31:12 Why did you say Kidderminster in that tone of voice? 31:17 No reason. 31:17 Well, you just said you've got to buy it from Beaudley to Kidderminster like that. 31:22 I don't know. Maybe I just prefer Stourbridge. Oh, flipping heck. Well, they've got a very special train there, of course, Nick, as you would know. They do. But not everybody else would. A very special train. So you can't, yeah. So, I mean, that's because it's not a British Rail line, is it? Or rather a network rail line. It's a Seven Valley Railway line. But you can get a train from Budely to Kidderminster and then get a ticket from Kidderminster into Birmingham. 31:44 It's purely, as I'm led to understand, it's purely the cost centres and making sure the fare money is allocated properly. 31:50 Yeah, I mean, what people may not know is that some days, should you choose to commute from Budely to Birmingham via Kinneminster or Worcester, you could go the other way, on a Tuesday or Wednesday or a Thursday when the commuter line is running, that some days it's going to be pulled by an actual steam train, mate. 32:07 Yes, yeah. Well, that's exciting. I don't... 32:10 I said I didn't do trains, but I do sometimes stay in Beaudley at the guest house opposite the Great Western. And I may or may not partake once a year, usually in October on diesel weekend. 32:23 But that's a different story. It's a top day out, isn't it? And there's a lot to Beaudley. It's a lovely little town, a really lovely little, one of my favourite places. 32:31 And the fish and chip shop, by the way, is the one with that famous girl from Instagram, isn't it? 32:36 Merchant's House. 32:37 Yeah. 32:38 The Merchant House Fishbuck. Oh, we're covering a lot of ground together. And anyway, you've got yourself a round of applause already. 32:46 12.41 is the time. I'm not fully au fait with the Instagram thing, but I went in to buy some fish and chips there lately and there was a cardboard cutout of the young lady who's achieved fame on by dint of being top quality fish and chips and obviously making some excellent content. So there you go. You live and learn. Andrew, and this is just uncanny, is in York where the Railway Museum is. Andrew, question or answer? 33:08 Answer, James. Carry on. 33:11 Crisps are made of sliced potatoes. Yes. 33:15 And that's it? That's it. Nothing else? Yeah, they put fresh knives on for each load of potatoes that goes through the factory line. Do they really? They do, yeah. They do, yeah. And you grow certain grades and types of potatoes, mainly high dry matter, that you make crisps with. 33:32 So everything else in the crisp aisle is not technically a crisp? 33:36 No, it's starch, basically. It's extruded starch. 33:40 So in other words, you make it into a mush and you fire it through a die and make a shape. Like Pringles is a hyperbolic shape. It starts off as a mush. 33:49 And a hula hoop is a hyperbolic shape? 33:52 Well, it's not. Whatever shape you make, whatever shape you make. It's basically starch. The starch can come from any source... It's an absolute classic UKF food. 34:02 So it could be maize, it could be corn, it could be potatoes, and it still wouldn't be a crisp. It still wouldn't be a crisp. 34:09 No. Crisp is sliced potato, fried in oil, and then the flavour is sprinkled on them. 34:16 The way you said that, you could have been in an advert. 34:20 What about skips? 34:22 Skips? No, no, no, they're extruded again, aren't they? They're extruded. 34:26 It's a word you use a lot in life, extruded, isn't it? It's not a word many of us use much, but it just drops off your tongue very casually, Andrew. 34:33 I worked in farming and producing potatoes for the industry my whole life, believe it or not. I do believe it. Yeah, and I was good at it as well. 34:45 Well, what's the difference between someone who's good at it and someone who's bad at it? 34:49 They don't make any money. 34:51 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I should have worked that out for myself. I've got to ask you officially now, even though you've told us. What are your qualifications? 34:58 I didn't do too well at school. I went to a similar school to you and got beaten a lot. 35:06 And, yeah, I just fell into it. I just worked in farming and then I went to agricultural college. 35:12 And the spuds you grew would be the spuds for the crisps? 35:15 Well, I managed them for farmers. I helped them grow them, you know, so I was the advisor. 35:19 I was called an agronomist. So, of course you were. 35:23 So a vegetable crisp, a beetroot crisp, is not a crisp? 35:28 Well, it depends who makes it. It's not starch and there's no mush involved. Nothing's been extruded. No, no, no. That's a vegetable crisp. 35:35 Yeah. I agree with what you're saying there, but that's just advertising, isn't it? I guess it is, yeah. I love that. Lovely answer. 35:42 What's your favourite crisp? 35:43 My favourite crisp is salt and vinegar. Just straight up. I won't mention the brand. 35:48 So, in fact, when Dale asked that question and I said, what's your favourite crisp? And he said, what did he say? He said a salt and vinegar disco, I think. He wasn't even mentioning a crisp, was he? 35:58 No, it was extruded. 35:58 It was an extruded starch product. It was, yeah. 36:02 And what they make the starch of, you wouldn't really want to know about, but read Van Tullican's book. 36:07 Oh, it's all in there, is it? I can't read that book. Do you know why I can't read that book? 36:13 Do you want to know why? Seriously. Why? I'm jealous. It kept me off the number one spot in the paperbacks. I was number two for weeks. Well, at least two weeks. It's an excellent book. You buy it as a library book. Yeah, whatever. You buy it as a library book. Yeah, well, a lot of people blooming did, Andrew. Enough to keep me off the top spot for a fortnight. I can tell you. Anyway, it is a brilliant book. You're absolutely right. And I have read it, so I'm only sort of pretending to be a really petty, jealous little author. Round of applause for Andrew. 36:41 12.45 is the time. 36:44 We better take a little break. 36:46 It is 12.48. You're listening to James O'Brien on LBC, where Mystery Hour continues. 36:52 Rowan is in Cheltenham. Rowan, question or answer? 36:55 It is another stomach-related question. 36:57 Marvellous. Carry on. 37:00 So when we're upset or we're quite stressed out about something, why is it that we lose our appetite and we don't want to eat anything? 37:11 Oh, that's a nice question. 37:15 Famously so, especially if you're sort of heartbroken or if you're... 37:20 After a trauma or something as well. Yeah. Yeah. Just don't want to eat. 37:23 Whereas it should probably, evolutionary-wise, maybe be the other way around in that you should be building up your strength and stuff if you're going through a difficult time. 37:30 Well, I did think, is it that your body is sort of diverting... 37:35 energy away from your stomach to try and to your adrenaline maybe the adrenaline is fooling your body into thinking that you have it it's probably when you're adrenalised that you don't want to eat isn't it when you've got oh I love that it's quite late in the day but I shall do my best to get you an answer right 37:53 Thank you. You're very welcome. I thought it was pertinent. 37:55 That's a lovely one. Why do we lose our appetite? I mean, we could still... No, I gave myself a round of applause for the other one. Why do we lose our appetite when we're stressed or really upset? 03456060973. Henry's in Ilford. Henry, question or answer? 38:09 Answer, please, James. 38:10 Carry on, Henry. 38:11 So, I fear that my answer is going to give you another round of applause here. No, I can't. 38:15 No, it's yours now, mate. I've already had three. 38:17 No one likes a show off. 38:19 Sorry, it's in relation to the why do we park next to people in empty car parks. 38:24 Yes. 38:25 In essence, you are right. So there's definitely a herd mentality kind of element of it. So we want to kind of park near other clusters of people and objects. 38:33 There's also potentially kind of an influence of something called proximity bias, which actually happens a lot in companies. So where things you're close to, you're more likely to feel positive and good, which also then links into the perceived safety element of things as well. So being able to feel that you're less likely if your cars get broken into if it's around a lot of other cars. It's a bit like being in a pack in a bit of a dangerous area. You're better to be in a group than not. 39:00 Makes sense, doesn't it? Qualifications? 39:02 Psychologists. 39:03 And this is, you've read this, you've studied this, it's a known thing. 39:08 So not specifically for car parks, because there's going to be research for that. 39:12 Why not? 39:13 Well, because it's not going to advance what we already know. 39:15 What do you do all day? What do you people do all day? 39:17 Just therapy, James. Oh, for heaven's sake, therapy, therapy. 39:21 I want more car park-based academic research. No, I love it. Yeah, so herd mentality coupled with proximity bias, and maybe a little bit of... parking more using the other car as a gauge by which to park your car straight because even subconsciously subconsciously we worried about um you know diverging from the norms don't we subconsciously you don't want to stand out you don't want to kind of draw attention to yourself 39:47 yes exactly and i think if i'm not mistaken as well i don't think there's research on this but i think um i was having a discussion with some colleagues and when you have car parking spaces that have got bollards at the like that you can see through your car window yes they always seem to be full whereas the ones that are just like flat on the ground people don't park into probably because they can't see the the thing on the ground to help them engage there's a wonderful social media account dedicated to bollards i don't know if you've ever come across it 40:14 It's brilliant, isn't it? It's probably one of my sort of favorite deliberately, the World Bollard Association, one of my favorite deliberately funny accounts. 40:23 And they're still at it. It posted yesterday, a fried egg bollard. Thank you. A round of applause for Henry, the psychologist, please. I like that. There you go, Barry. If you're not turning the bank over yet, then that is the answer to your question. If you're still sitting in the car waiting for Fingers McGee to blow the whistle and set the latest crime that your group is undertaking underway. Martin's in Huntingdon. Martin, question or answer? 40:47 Answer, James. Carry on, Martin. 40:49 I thought I'd answer the question about why your stomach gurgles. 40:53 Oh, yes. I think I did a fairly decent job, didn't I? You did okay, actually. Not bad. Thank you. But you're going to go further. 41:00 Right. Yeah. So when we eat food, it goes into our stomach and our stomach starts secreting gastric juices, acids and enzymes. And then the stomach also massages and squeezes the food to break down the solids, but also to mix with that acid and enzymes. And slowly over time, the food will empty from our stomach. And then we'll get to a point where our stomach's completely empty. 41:24 But it's still releasing those gastric juices. So they're still being released into the stomach. And what will happen is our stomach will just fill up with that acid and enzymes and it won't be too good for us. So what the stomach does once it's empty every so often is it does what's called a housekeeper wave. And it's a really strong contraction. where it just pushes everything, all of those juices out of the stomach down into the small intestine. It's like grabbing a tube of toothpaste and just squeezing it all out in one go. So it's called a housekeeper wave. And because you've got that liquid being squeezed fairly rapidly, you get that gurgling, that kind of gurgling noise. 42:00 So this describes the biggest of the gurgles, really. 42:03 That's exactly what it is, yes. 42:05 Wow, this is sensational. 42:06 Qualifications? 42:07 Well, I studied the biophysics of the human gut for about 20 years. Only 20? Only 20, that's right. And then back in 2008, I developed the first mechanical model, benchtop model of the human stomach, which is being used in the pharmaceutical industry now. 42:25 Say that last bit again. 42:27 So 20 years ago, I developed a mechanical laboratory-based model of the human stomach, which is used to study how drugs and foods are taken off. 42:35 And before that, what did people do before you did that? 42:41 Well, we've only really had really good understandings of the mechanics of the human gut since things like MRI we were able to use. But this is extraordinary. Is it named after you? 42:53 Well, it's called Model Guts, so unfortunately not, yeah. But you, one-man show, it's single-handedly. No, no, it was a two-man show. It was myself and my colleague Richard, but yeah, that's right. 43:04 Will people who are big in the biophysics world, will they know who you are? 43:10 Yeah, of course they will. Unfortunately, I haven't been working in that field for the last 15 years. 43:15 But you invented the model by which all sorts of gastric tests and science is through which it is all conducted. 43:25 Well, it was the first, but now other people have invented or have developed other models, so there's many models around, but it was the first. 43:33 Johnny come lately. Well, I have to tell you, I didn't think we'd be having one of these on a question about gurgling tummies, but I think we're better. I'm Ray Liotta, and you're listening to James O'Brien on LBC. 43:46 If you build it, they will come. 43:50 Have you won any awards before for your work? 43:54 A few, but not for many years, that's right. Nothing in that category, mate. 43:58 Yeah. Nothing as impressive as a Rayleigh Oton. That's brilliant. Thank you. Thank you. Well, 12.55. Charlotte's in Crook. Charlotte, question or answer? 44:09 Answer, James. Carry on, Charlotte. 44:12 Yes, so it was to do with the fight or flight response question. 44:15 We just need the thirsty foxes and then I think we've got a full house. If anyone knows where do foxes drink? I think I answered that, didn't I? But anyway, carry on then, Charlotte. 44:24 Yes, so you were right, James. It is about adrenaline. So we lose our appetite in times of stress because our fight or flight response gets triggered off. And what that does is it sets off a lot of a big surge of adrenaline gets released, those hormones. 44:42 in order to give us lots of energy to be able to survive whatever situation we're in. So the last thing that we need at that point is something like, you know, our stomach digestion away takes up quite a lot of energy to do that. 44:55 Does it? 44:56 It does, yeah. 44:57 Even though it creates a lot of energy, I mean, you've got to speculate to accumulate. 45:02 Yeah, I mean, if you imagine yourself in a situation where you're faced with an imminent threat right in front of you, then... 45:10 I haven't got time to transfer extruded starch products into actual kinetic energy. You absolutely don't. I've got to get my butt in gear and get out of there. Get out of dodge. 45:20 Exactly. You have to run away as fast as you can or you have to fight off whatever's in front of you. and so for that your body directs all of its attention to things like your major muscle groups so you know your arms your legs either get yourself out of dodge i'll be able to fight that sensational qualifications i am an nhs psychotherapist and i work a lot with ptsd and traumatic grief oh wow of course so you know an awful lot about the whole fight or flight um uh process there's no way of knowing is there 45:52 i mean is there any way of are we more are we genetically programmed to be more fight than flight some of us and more flight than fight others or is it just entirely situation dependent because some people are really interesting question i don't know the first there's a first time for everything charlotte there's a first time for everything no that's a really interesting question i don't know but you certainly do some people who are more fight and some people who are more flight yeah Yeah, it's true. 52-48. A round of applause for Charlotte, please. 46:24 What a lovely mystery, Aaron. Thank you for indulging my whimsy. I was in a particularly whimsical mood today. I don't know why. 46:32 I do know, though, that we've failed on one front and one front only. We have not got an answer to the question of thirsty foxes, but I think we'll probably go full board on this, and I'll take another round of applause. Foxes during a drought. Did Marco not accept my answer? I thought he did. But they're going to still be able to drink out of ponds and streams, even small rivers. 46:54 And there's still fruit falling out of trees. So foxes, I don't think, run any risk of dehydration during the kind of summer that we've just had. So one more round of applause for me on that. 47:05 Thank you very much. And I'm going to give the Mystery Hour game of his choice, either the one in a tin, it's a travel edition, or the original Mystery Hour board game to Andrew in York for bringing some top-quality train enthusiasts banter to the programme, of which, frankly, there would be a lot more were it not for the fact that I have a producer. That's it from me for another day. If you want to listen back to any of today's show, you can do so on the free Global Player app or the LBC app, where you can also stay up to date with all the latest news, videos and opinions. You can listen to a range of podcasts, including James O'Brien Daily and Full Disclosure. 47:38 I'm about to record one with Eric Idle. And download the official LBC app for free from your app store now. Coming up at four on LBC, Tom Swarbrick. Now it's time for Sheila Fogart. 47:47 This has been a Global Player original production.